HOW WE DO IT:

As an "existential detective," my approach is heavily influenced by my background as a career investigator. When clients hire me, they are essentially asking me to investigate the true nature of their conflicts, how they unconsciously got themselves into those conflicts, and why they continue to suffer over them.

This work is grounded in a psychoanalytic method I have been studying, preserving, and applying for nearly twenty years. It comes through Edmund Bergler’s writings on neurosis, psychic masochism, self-sabotage, and the unconscious need to suffer, and through Dr. Bernard Glazman, who carried Bergler’s ideas into his own practice and taught me how to apply them directly to the conflicts people bring into their lives. 

My coaching is the practical extension of that work: taking difficult psychoanalytic ideas and turning them into a usable process that clients can understand and apply to the conflicts, reactions, and patterns that continue to cause suffering in their lives.

Here is how I apply my detective skills to my coaching practice:

Gathering Clues (Taking Inventory): My investigation begins by taking an "inventory" of a client's suffering, looking for simple annoyances, repetitive thought patterns, or anything that keeps them up at night. I also enlist the client to gather evidence for me by carrying a notebook to record anything that frustrates them throughout the week. This provides me with raw "material" to dive into and analyze.

Looking Beyond the Initial "Suspects": When a client presents the specific problems they think they want to fix—such as managing their temper or figuring out a life strategy—I do not automatically accept their premise. Instead, I investigate more deeply to find the "alternative" and often the "real reason" driving their behavior. I utilize active "inquiry" to push past surface-level emotional reactions to uncover the greater truth of their situation.

Investigating the "Crime Scene" (The Client's Story): I examine the "story" the client continually tells themselves about an inciting incident, which is usually the actual source of their suffering. My initial step is to identify the "first layer" of this story by looking for evidence of how the client has cast themselves as a "passive player" or a victim to whom bad things just happen.

Exposing the Accomplice: Ultimately, I solve the mystery by revealing to the client that their unconscious mind intentionally keeps them upset. I show them that they are actually an "accomplice" in a "continual crime" inside their own head, demonstrating exactly how their mind abuses real, painful incidents to actively orchestrate their suffering.